I am having more and more moments in which I feel I am growing up. In some ways this is great, but in others it makes me want to scream and join the lost boys of Neverland who never have to. Would that I could fly to the second star to the right and straight on till morning! Part of this maturing, is learning to respond with dignity and grace. Currently, I am faced with an awkward hurtful situation-and it is one which I cannot address or change. Thus I am challenged to accept what I cannot change-and to do it with grace. So much of me wants to throw a temper tantrum, sink to that level, play dirty, cause a scene and snub. And there are many that would encourage me to do just that. But I can't! I am called to live a life worthy of my calling. I don't want to fit into the mold of stereotypes. And if I am indeed becoming the woman I hope, I must trust that God is in all of this and will hold my heart no matter what. I have sensed that small voice saying to me "Do you trust me?" If I really do trust Him, there would be no need to stew or act out as part of me wants to. In general, my heart is on my sleeve and it can be fairly challenging holding things in and guarding my heart. Right now, I must hold back and not become bitter or angry. I have to be resigned. But I must continue to exhibit the love Christ would have me show and let my heart rest...and boy is it hard!
"This is where you go from being a child of God, to being a woman of God"-said to me amidst the rocking curves of this roller coaster
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