What you sow doesn’t come to life unless it dies. 1 Corinthians 15:36
At church, our worship pastor made the statement, “The extent you wish to grow to, is the extent you have to be willing to be cut back”.
Abraham, who has received the promise that his offspring would be reckoned through Isaac, had to be willing to sacrifice him-and it was because of his willingness that the Lord was his provider. It said when Abram received that promise, “[he] believed God and it was credited him as righteousness.” Even though he had received a promise, and by all appearances the promise would be fulfilled through Isaac, God tested him-and he passed the test. As a result he was able to keep his beloved son. But the key was his WILLINGNESS to do anything the Lord asked. Did he turn back to God and say, “But you promised! How could you betray me? I heard your voice and knew your promise! Now you’re taking away what you gave me!”? How often do we do that to God? So, God asking me to lay this down doesn’t change what He already told me-but God must and shall be preeminent in my life! When we lay something down, it to receive a greater promise. Beauty from ashes. Christ layed down his life, that we might all be raised in glory! We lay down a seed in the ground, and the resulting crop is bountiful beyond what you could see in the small seed.
In the Old Testament, men were asked to sacrifice a bull or a lamb. Today, we are to lay down our lives. Not to necessarily physically die for God, but that our lives be His. The difficult thing with us is that we are LIVING sacrifices. We put ourselves on God’s alter-the tricky part is if we walk up to the alter, we can walk off. However when God is exalted and we are submitted, when we are seeking Him first-then we are equipped to discover and follow God’s will-even if it is just one step at a time.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2
So, even though it was hard to lay this thing down-I know that through obedience I will be able to receive God’s choice blessing for me…and I have no idea what that is. Hooray! I’ve heard it said on more than one occasion that if I knew all of what God was going to do in my life I would screw it up-and that is absolutely correct. Because at that point, since I know it all, I stop trusting God and try to do it on my own, which of course I can’t. Jesus said when we pray to pray, “…give us this day our DAILY bread…” His Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. A lamp only illuminates a little bit. He’ll show us the next step, but not the whole journey. That’s part of the beauty and adventure of our God, we always have something to look forward to-if tomorrow comes He has a plan, if tomorrow doesn’t come then we will be with Him so there is always hope. Always. He loves us. He gives us what we need, when we need it, regardless of what it costs Him. He supplies our NOW, not our later. When the Israelites wandered in the desert He gave them manna and quail each day. If they tried to store it up, it would rot. They knew they were in continual need of provision from the Lord.
You see, I had the future all figured out and I went ahead with it-even though in the back of my mind I had some misgivings about the wisdom of my actions. I thought I had it all figured out. God reminded me that I don’t have a clue-but not worry. He does. He has a plan to prosper me, to give me a hope and future. (Jeremiah 29:11) Of course, what some people forget is that this verse is followed by “…you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” This thing had quickly become too important in my life. I had become selfish and God was not properly exalted in my life. My heart was divided and a Kingdom divided against itself cannot stand.
Today as I was thinking over the current state of things, I compared myself to Jonah. He knew what God wanted him to do, then went and did what he wanted and justified himself. God let him have his personal pity party for only so long-pretty soon the storm started to rage and he ended up inside a fish! I also, had been warned by God-He clearly said, “Wait” but I let my desires get in the way so I moved forward. But, like Jonah, God only let me do that for so long. Praise His Name it didn’t take getting thrown overboard or becoming whale chow for me to readjust my sails and go with His movement!
However, there was some hurt. The Lord disciplines the ones He loves. Some of my sorrow comes from the fact that in my personal excursion to Tarshish-I was not the only one hurt. And this is one of the hardest parts of this ordeal for me to get through. It’s one thing to put oneself in danger, but to put someone you care about deeply in harms way is something entirely different. This individual protected me and had strength when I was weak. And I hurt him. I was selfish. Knowing that in this whole process someone dear to me was wounded as well made me ache inside. For that forgiveness seems harder. I forgot that “Mercy triumphs over judgment!” (James 2:13) I felt as though I had irreversibly screwed up what God had for me and possibly for someone else as well. I feared that. When the word fear entered my mind I stopped. “For God did not give us a spirit if fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind.” The word fear triggered my mind to recognize that those feelings were from the enemy. My mind was going every which way, my emotions were up and down, and I was blowing things out of proportion. Who am I to assume I could unravel the plans of the Most High?
But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.
Psalm 33:11
So, fortunately He thwarted my attempt to take control and He is back in the driver’s seat. Which is a pretty good thing considering I was speeding ahead of His timing for my life. And the resulting ticket of that would be much more costly than doing 45 in a 25 zone. His plan will be accomplished in my life because His Word says so. The Bible says nothing about Natalie’s abilities being greater than the Lord’s, so we’ll stand on the Word of God which is the only foundation I’ll stand on because all others are sinking sand. I was building a castle in my mind, unfortunately the foundation was not yet settled. And we all know that if the foundation of a house is off, everything you build on it will be too. So, thankfully I am now letting God back in to get my personal foundation right. Then when He’s ready, He can build up. “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” So, this week has been a time to tear down. But never fear! Because just as there is a time to tear down there is a time to build. I notice that God burned away the chaff, but there is still plenty of wheat left. God uprooted the aspects of this that were not of Him but left plenty of seeds that are of Him. And I suppose the resulting crop will be found out through the test of time. So I will wait and prepare for God’s purposes and plans to be unveiled.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11
This laying down changes a lot of what I was thinking was coming up for me in my life. Who knows what He’s got in store for tomorrow? For those things, I wait in eager expectation. I know not what they are specifically but I know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) I could easily worry and over analyze (as I am so very prone to do) what the various repercussions and outcomes could be. This I find rarely produces any solution or sense of peace. You know why? Because, I haven’t been promised tomorrow (James 4:13-17) I can look forward to the great things I am hoping to see or experience, but I can only walk in today. I can only affect change now in the present. If I use this time well, being obedient and seeking my King, then everything else will fall into place without me worrying and crying over it. By the time I get to tomorrow and next week and next year, it will all be taken care of as long as I am always being a good steward of Today. If I am always presently in the center of God’s will, then He will carry me where He chooses and I have nothing to worry about.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-34
